Airplane seating chart

Airplane seating chart

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Written by NewzyOfficial


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  1. Traveling is my least favorite part of traveling.

    If you take up more space in the overhead than you’re allotted, and you start the cascade of forcing people to put their bags in the next overhead back….fuck you.

    I had a woman once tell me I couldn’t put my bag over her seat because “it was her row and her husband needed space when he boarded.” Well tell that to the fuckwad that thought they were too important for the rules and brought two carry ons and took up the entire bin above my seat, ya bitch.

  2. I generally get seated in the tuberculosis ward. A second alternative is a middle seat between people who each could take up 2 seats. If they can’t find a seat to fulfill either of those requirements, I’ll be seated next to a crying baby. I’m pretty certain that first class is an old wive’s tale.

  3. Speaking from experience here – the fucked up thing about #17 is not that your headphones are in the back of the plane but rather the fact that you will be the last person off the plane. You will have to wait for everyone else to get the hell out of your way so you can go back and get your bag.

    Why did I put my bag in the back? Because many of the dickheads who boarded before me put their bags in the first available overhead and then continued down the aisle to their seats.

  4. Last time I was on a plane, the seats in front of me had a dude… as in he bought TWO seats for himself. He barely fit. He was also dripping sweat like a waterfall the entire flight. He smelled like you think he would. Plus, across the aisle, there was someone eating a monster burrito which did not smell appetizing. And, my dad had coffee, which combined with the burrito and massive man smells to create the worst mixture my nose has ever inhaled.

    It was a long fight.

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He keeps tripping over his own ears

Just make me an offer